Come Join Our Team

At $TechStock, we’re building something ambitious—an organization driven by creativity, innovation, and a shared belief in what's possible when great people come together.

We’re looking for curious, driven individuals who thrive in fast-moving environments and want to help shape the future of emerging tech. Whether you're a builder, a thinker, or something in between, there's a place here for you.

$TechStock is built on Solana. Explore our open roles below. We can't wait to meet you.

 
Cardiologist (Unofficial, Disgraced Preferred)
Executive Health Partner – Nightlife Division

Status: Off-the-books contractor
Location: Wherever the party is. Must move like shadow.

The Role:
$TechStock is seeking a former cardiologist (license complications welcome) to shadow executive leadership during high-volatility environments: rooftop closings, offshore “strategy sessions,” and late-night lounges where the line between pitch and panic attack gets blurry.

You’ll be within 60 seconds of key personnel at all times, ready to:

Operate a defibrillator without hesitation
Administer adrenaline or naloxone mid-sentence
Calm a rapidly deteriorating VC while looking totally unbothered
Whisper “You’re fine” with authority—even if they’re not
Evacuate discreetly when lawyers or reporters arrive
Compensation:

Cash
Equity in “the next one”
Unlimited access to “wellness-adjacent” VIP events
Burner phone + direct line to Rico
No W-2. No questions.
 
DEI Hire (We Were Told to Do This)
VP of Optics and Legal Buffering

Location: Wherever looks inclusive

The Role:
We need someone to make the team photo look safe for institutional capital. This is less about impact, more about checking a box before we sell this thing to Wall Street as a Speculation ETF. You'll help us survive backlash, file a diversity report no one reads, and say "equitable" with a straight face.

What You’ll Do:

Be visible in the deck
Write a DEI statement that’s vague but screenshot-worthy
Keep Rico and Vinny out of HR jail
Lead one diversity Zoom that gets rescheduled forever
Nod earnestly when Chad says “culture is our moat”
Perks:

Equity in “the next one”
Rainbow-stitched hoodie
Dedicated Slack channel (no one will join)
Full credit when the lawyers ask, “Did you try to be inclusive?”
 
Chief Product Officer (No Product Yet)
CPO – Chief Placeholder Officer

Status: High-ranking, low-functioning
Location: Somewhere between Notion and a nap

The Role:
We don’t have a product. That’s your job.

As Chief Product Officer at $TechStock, your #1 responsibility is to come up with something we can pretend is in development, ideally retrofitted to match things Chad already teased in interviews—like T-Stack, our "modular liquidity middleware" that doesn’t exist yet but sounded amazing on a podcast.

What You’ll Do:

Invent a product roadmap that makes Chad look prophetic
Say “MVP” in investor calls and hope no one asks
Build a deck around T-Stack so we can point to it when people ask
Reference nonexistent beta testers named Jake and Sasha
Update internal slides so it always looks like we’re 2 weeks from launch
Perks:

Equity in “the next one”
Full access to the T-Stack figjam archive (it’s 3 boxes and a rocket emoji)
Use of the phrase “we’re shipping soon” with no timeline accountability
Lifetime cover from Chad: “We were working on it in-house.”

DM RESUMES TO @CHADVANDERHYPE on twitter.